Comparison Is Not Helpful

You’re on your journey. It is  a good path, and you have a purpose and destination. You are the only person on this path be cause it was made for you. So many beautiful and exciting things to see along the way, and it will bring you to an expected end.

But then you see someone else an a path next to you, and compare the roses on their side of the road to the daisies on yours.

They are on their path. They might be parallel to you, but they aren’t you and you aren’t them. Apples to oranges, or me to you. 

Does it serve you to look at another human and evaluate them and their outward skills, appearances, circumstance, and accomplishments with your own and then judge yourself worse or bad? Or judge yourself better?


This is not me judging you of saying you're a bad person for feeling envious of someone. It's common. But to look at someone else and at what rightfully belongs to them and hate them for having it, to judge them — to hate yourself for not having it, to hate what you’ve been given — that is bad

That is toxic. 

To hold envy in your spirit is like drinking a slow poison. It kills eventually in small ways. And it makes you unable to see what is yours and be grateful for it.

You are you, and no one else is. So what is the point of comparing your journey, your skills and knowledge, your talents with anyone else — and then judging yourself as ahead or behind?

Neither is helpfu to you. It doesn’t serve you. In fact, it slows you down in your journey or perhaps worse, causes you to resent what’s been given to you.

Comparison comes from our ego that then tells us old lies: 

You are not good. 

You are not worthy.

You are not capable.

Lies. It is not and has never been true. That's simply a story you've been told to believe. And it's not your fault for believing it.

But it is your responsibility to change it. A friend wrote a book and in it, she says that where you are may not be your fault; but it is your duty to get yourself out of there. In her book The Heart Centered Woman’s Guide to Boundaries, Lauren Da Silva gives several tools on now to check and build your boundaries. She teaches that boundaries are good and necessary for healthy growth in all things.

The past summer, I planted tomatoes and cucumbers without boundaries. The tomatoes and cucumbers grow but became entangled and chaotic. It was diffcult to even find and reach all the fruit with how enmeshed they became, where one ended and the other started.

People do this with each other too, forming codependent relationships that build resentment and choke out the good. Having boundaries and practicing gratitude for what’s yours within your bohnda

The book is set to release April 12th, but you can join the waitlist to get a peek at the first chapter. Click here.

Understand this.

You are you, made with your unique strengths, talents, and desires. So nurture them, grow them. By understanding your boundaries, what is you and yours, you understand what is yours to control and manage. By understanding what is yours, then you can learn to practice gratitude regarding what talents and gifts you've been given. Instead of looking at someone else and what they have, you can focus your energy on yourself.

On cultivating and nurturing yourself. On sowing and reaping good.

Oscar Wilde said, “Be who you are because everyone else is taken.” I’d like to add and say be grateful for who you are because you are a gift.


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